Road to Recovery – Episode 07

Written by M.

** While writing this article I realized that for some reason I have trouble writing down HIS name. I’m not sure whether I’m protecting myself or him for some twisted reason. Anyway I’m done with it, he deserves no protection and especially not from me. So I did a little editing and where there used to be HE or HIM, now stands his name. I refuse to live in fear, I refuse to let Michael Joosten (yes, that’s his name) control my life. He doesn’t deserve that, I will not give him that pleasure. And most importantly, I deserve better than that!**

So I’ve told you how this one guy changed my life, you know, in the bad kind of way. I told you how I was making myself going to places where I knew Michael would be, in the hope that it would stop the fear and the panic attacks. Time to give you an update.

Making myself face Michael, putting myself in the ‘dangerzone’ isn’t easy and it takes a lot of strength every single time. It was easier in the summer, since I’m a big summer person, I’m just in a happier place. Vitamin D really helps me. What also helped was that Michael works at our only beach club. If I wanted to lie in the sun, without lying on my balcony, be around people, I went there. Strengthened by friends joining me and the warmth of the sun, I could face my fears. And whenever I saw Michael walking towards me, I would grab my friends hand, squeeze it and hold my breath. Not letting go until he passed by me. And he sure saw me, his eyes pinned on me, his expression getting darker. Or at least that’s how it seems to me. But we hadn’t had the best summer, so the times I could make myself face Michael can be count at one hand. And those rare summer days are long gone, so hadn’t seen him in a long time. Until last week when I was suddenly faces with him.

I was having a fun night out at my brother’s bar along with a friend. Not a really busy night, but a there was a great group of people and a good atmosphere. Then another group enters and as I look at them I recognize Michael’s friends. And then I see Michael, standing outside, talking to the bouncer. And for a moment, my world stops, realizing that he’s about to come in and something tells me that he will stay here for the rest of the night. My heart starts to race and I know that I have two options; having the mother of all panic attacks or try to find something to hold on to and get through this.

Then one of Michael’s friends comes up to me, a friend that I have known for a couple of years now and always been a good guy, despite his choice of friends. He comes up to me and asks me how I’m doing. When I respond, not great, he asks me why? So I tell him straight up “because Michael is standing right outside”. Which was pretty much the reason for him coming up to me, to warn me, knowing I have had several panic attacks because of Michael. He gives me a worried look and asks if there’s anything he can do for me and all I can think of is “just keep Michael away from me”.

As Michael enters the bar, my heart’s still racing, temperature is rising and I feel the panic taking over. I look around to see who I have with me, to help me, keeping me grounded. I see my friend, my brother, though he doesn’t see my panicked eyes, my brother’s co-owner of the bar. I should feel safe, but when it comes to Michael, I never feel safe and I doubt I ever will. But refuse to lose my dignity and have a panic attack in front of him. So I decide, right then and there that I won’t. Instead of getting a panic attack, I grab my drink, hold it tight and drink. After about the third Gin Tonic the panic and fear calm down a little and I’m able to relax, just a little, but I’ll take it. It sure isn’t the healthy way, but at that point I was merely trying to survive. It held me up, so I continued this strategy. Until I was drunk, very drunk, something I really regretted the next day. But it got me through the night without a panic attack, without breaking down in tears, or well, at least not so he could see. When they started closing and I was the only one left, the co-owner of the bar sat me down and said how proud he was about me making it through the night. That’s when I broke, but it was ok, at least Michael didn’t see me. We had a good talk and he wants for me to be able to move on. He will now look into getting us together to talk it out, so I could stop being afraid.

The next day I was sick as hell, one horror of a hangover, like I said it wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism. I did get a few other praises for being strong enough to make it through. So I take my victories where I can, distractions when I need them and continue one day at a time, one step at a time. It’s a hellish ride, but I keep hoping for a good outcome.

So far for now, till next time.
Have love,

Fall Schedule 2017

Written by M.

Oh, it’s that special time of year, the start of fresh season. You can just feel the excitement in the air as new series are about to launch and we finally get new episodes of our favorite series. The long wait is over. Next week we don’t have to search for what we possible need to watch now on TV, but we’ll have to make some tough choices on which show we watch and which shows we just ignore. As always there is an entire legion of new series fighting for your attention, how do you know what to watch? Well, this is where this article comes in handy. I’ve picked out all the new series of the mayor broadcasters, got a description and a trailer and put it down below. And off course, I’ve added my opinion. Please note, that I haven’t seen any episodes yet, just the trailers, so I don’t have any inside information.


The Good DoctorMondays at 10|9c

A young surgeon with autism and Savant syndrome is recruited into the pediatric surgical unit of a prestigious hospital. The question will arise: can a person who doesn’t have the ability to relate to people actually save their lives?

I can’t help but to compare this show to ‘House’, though in this case the main character will be blunt but not mean. And maybe a little less of the weird cases. Anyway, I’m interested, I will definitely watch this.

Kevin (Probably) Saves the WorldTuesdays at 10|9c

Kevin Finn (Jason Ritter) is not a good person. He’s not terrible, but he’s selfish, and clueless, and values material wealth and status over all else. And he’s beginning to realize that those things aren’t making him happy – in fact, he’s fairly miserable. Just when things seem to be at their worst, he finds himself tasked with an unbelievable mission… saving the world.

I can already say right now that this is not my show, I’m not even going to try this.

Marvel’s InhumansFridays at 9|8c

Marvel’s Inhumans explores the never-before-told epic adventure of the royal family including Black Bolt, the enigmatic, commanding King of the Inhumans, with a voice so powerful that the slightest whisper can destroy a city. After the Royal Family of Inhumans is splintered by a military coup, they barely escape to Hawaii where they are greeted with surprising interactions with the lush world and humanity around them. Now they must find a way to reunite with each other and return to their home before their way of life is destroyed forever.

This looks like my kind of show. I’m a huge fan of ‘Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’, so this show seems really exciting for me. Definitely a show for me to write reviews about.

The MayorTuesdays at 9:30|8:30c

Young rapper Courtney Rose needs his big break. For years he’s toiled away in a small inner-city apartment, making music in his junk-filled bedroom closet. Tired of waiting for opportunity, Courtney cooks up the publicity stunt of the century – running for mayor of his hometown in California to generate buzz for his music career. Unfortunately for Courtney, his master plan goes wildly awry, ending in the most terrifying of outcomes: an election victory. With the help of his mother and friends, including Valentina, Courtney will have to overcome his hubris if he wants to transform the struggling city he loves.

This could go either way. It could be the next new big comedy or it could sink before it even has time to swim. I will give this a try, mostly though because of Lea Michelle. I loved her in ‘Glee’ but I really hated ‘Scream Queens’.

Ten Days in the ValleySundays at 10|9c

Jane (Kyra Sedgwick) is an overworked producer and writer of a police series, who is not on the best terms with her ex, when her daughter Ali, goes missing in the middle of the night. What do you do when you are no longer shaping your own story? Who can you trust?

I can’t imagine this show not working, this must be a big hit. I can’t wait for it to start and you can expect reviews to come your way.


9JKLMondays at 8:30|7:30c

Josh Roberts, a divorced actor, lives in apartment 9K, with his family living in adjacent apartments: his parents live in 9J, while his brother, sister-in-law, and their newborn baby live in 9L. This unique situation prompts him to set boundaries while bonding with his family members.

To me this seems kinda lame, but who knows it could work. I’m at least giving it a chance.

Me, Myself and ITuesdays at 9:30|8:30c

The show looks at the life of Alex Riley, an inventor and businessman, at three points in his life: as a 14-year-old who moves to Los Angeles in 1991, as a 40-year-old dealing with the breakup of his marriage in the present day, and as a 65-year-old in 2042 who has just retired.

I like the trailer, but I’m not sure if this is going to work. But based on the trailer, I will give this a try.

SEAL TeamWednesdays at 9|8c

Failure is not an option for the Navy SEALs—the world’s most elite, Special Ops forces. In this action-packed new drama, these stealthy and fearless warriors conduct high-risk, clandestine missions against impossible odds.

A new show with David Boreanaz, who I’ve loved ever since his first appearance on ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ (my favorite series ever!) and I can’t wait to watch this. I’m interested into what the difference will be between ‘The Brave’ and this show, but let’s find out. Also, am I the only one who looks at this as ‘Seeley Booth the early years’?

S.W.A.T.Thursday, time unknown

A locally born and bred SWAT sergeant is torn between loyalty to the streets and duty to his fellow officers when he’s tasked to run a specialized tactical unit that is the last stop in L.A. law enforcement.

Shemar Moore is back at television and he’s looking rough and so does this show. I like the trailer and I will be watching this.

Wisdom of the CrowdSundays at 8|7c

A tech innovator creates a cutting-edge crowd-sourcing hub to solve his own daughter’s murder, as well as revolutionizing crime solving in San Francisco.

As you probably guessed by now, I have a deep love for San Francisco. And most shows that are supposedly being set in San Francisco I watch, and yes, I know most shows aren’t even filmed in San Francisco. This show has the same feel of ‘APB’, which I liked, so I think I will like this show.

Young SheldonTuesdays at 8:30|7:30c

The series follows gifted 9-year-old Sheldon Cooper as he attends high school in East Texas and attempts to deal with the world around him while his otherwise normal family attempts to deal with him.

Do we even need to talk about this? If you like ‘The Big Bang Theory’, you need to watch this show.


GhostedSundays at 8:30|7:30c

A skeptic is forced to work with a firm believer of the paranormal on unexplained occurrences in Los Angeles.

I’m not even going to give this a try. To me it seems a little like ‘Scream Queens’ which I hated.

The GiftedMondays at 9|8c

In a world where mutated humans are treated with distrust and fear, an institute for mutants battles to achieve peaceful co-existence with humanity.

So here’s the thing. I love most things that come from Marvel. ‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’, ‘The Avengers’, ‘Captain America’ and so on. But I don’t like ‘X-Men’, so this show has me a little worried. Based on the synopsis and trailer, I will love this show. But the fact that it’s set in the X-men universe, has me worried. But then again, Amy Acker is in this, so it must be good. Expect reviews to come your way.

The OrvilleThursday at 9|8c

Follows the crew of the not-so-functional exploratory ship in the Earth’s interstellar fleet, 400 years in the future.

Ever since she starred in ‘Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’ I’m a fan of Adrianne Palicki, so I will watch this show. However I’m not a fan of Seth MacFarlane so I don’t know how long I will watch this show. I fear that the trailer will have shown the most ‘funny’ items of the show and I wasn’t really laughing my ass off. It was more like I cracked a little smile. But who know, this show might be the biggest surprise of the season. And since 2 Broke Girls got cancelled, I’m in need of a new comedy.


The BraveSundays at 10|9c

This fresh, heart-pounding journey into the complex world of America’s elite undercover military heroes follows D.I.A. Deputy Director Patricia Campbell and her team of analysts as they wield the world’s most advanced surveillance technology from headquarters in D.C. All the while, Adam Dalton and his heroic Special Ops squad of highly trained undercover specialists use their unbreakable bond and commitment to freedom to save lives of innocent people and execute missions in some of the most dangerous places in the world.

So basically SEAL Team, but without David Boreanaz. Still intriguing enough to make me want to watch this.

Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez MurdersTuesdays at 10|9c

This new true-crime installment of the powerhouse “Law & Order” franchise delivers a gripping in-depth dramatization of the notorious murder case that changed America forever. When the Menendez brothers were tried on national TV for brutally killing their parents in Beverly Hills, their story became a national obsession. Now, the first edition of this anthology series delves into the players, the crime and the media circus, detailing the day-to-day battles of the trial and unveiling the shocking truth of what really went down when the cameras stopped rolling.

So being from The Netherlands and being only 2 when the murders happened I don’t know anything about these murders. But they intrigued me enough to look it up and it’s making me want to watch this. I’m not sure yet though if it would intrigue me enough for an entire series or if a documentary would have been better.

Will & GraceThursdays at 9|8c

Will & Grace is a hilarious series about two best friends. The twist is that Will is gay Grace is a straight interior designer. More than friends, but less than lovers, the two share a special bond and their personalities easily balance one another’s. In addition to the stable Will and Grace, the show features Will’s flamboyantly gay friend, Jack and Grace’s sarcastic, spoiled, and boozy assistant, Karen.

I loved the original show and I’m super excited for Will & Grace, and Karen and Jack to return!


The CW

DynastyWednesdays at 9|8c

Fallon Carrington is charismatic, cunning, and poised to become the new COO of her father’s global energy empire – or so she thinks. When her father, Blake Carrington, summons Fallon and her brother, Steven, home in Atlanta, Fallon is horrified to learn that the reunion isn’t to announce her promotion – but rather to make the acquaintance of their stepmother-to-be, Cristal. Family dynasties flow through blood, and Fallon would sooner draw blood than call Cristal “Mom”.

It could get a little too much ‘teen’, but I’m going to give this show a shot, it seems cool. It has a ‘Gossip Girl’ feel to it.

ValorMondays at 9|8c

An elite unit of U.S. Army helicopter pilots called the Shadow Raiders are sent on a top secret mission that goes terribly awry. Only two members of the team return safely: Warrant Officer Nora Madani and her commanding officer, Captain Leland Gallo. Nora and Gallo grow closer, and soon find themselves torn between duty, honor and desire.

After only watching the trailer I want to know what exactly happened, so I’m watching this!

So what will you be watching? And what shows do you want me to write reviews about?

Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 – Review of episode 09

Written by M.

Summer is almost over, the pressure is on and the cast is beginning to feel the heat. Going on the date are Lacey and Daniel, Taylor and Derek, but when we get to Christen and Jack they’re not really at the same wave length. She wants to leave as friends, since she thinks they’re just acquaintances at this moment, whereas Jack sees a bright future for them as a couple. As he leaves for home, you can see how hurt Jack is and it breaks my heart. Jasmine and Jonathan part ways without any hurt feelings. Raven is a little scared about the Fantasy suite, since it didn’t work out with Nick, but is excited to go forward with Adam. But then Dean dropped a bombshell! After Kristina left, he realized that he loves her and breaks up with D-Lo, in the hopes he can restore things with Kristina. Diggy decides to not continue with Dominique since he wants to continue with Jaimi, only to have her say that she wants to leave separately. Last we have Amanda and Robby, and when Robby starts to tell her how much liked her and their journey, Amanda starts to cry. No matter how much she liked spending time with him, she doesn’t see it working out outside of Paradise, something that takes Robby by absolute surprised.

As he leaves for home, you can see how hurt Jack is and I find it sad. Jack is a standup guy, who doesn’t care about what others say about a person. He was truly excited about Christen and it’s sad to see him leave alone. Then we have Dean, what to say about Dean. I guess a lot of people will say that he deserves feeling this way, but I don’t think that. Though I’m glad he feels it, for finally knowing what it is that he wants, I’m sad that Kristina and Dean aren’t leaving together. I hope they can find their way to each other. And I’m sad for D-Lo, the only thing she did ‘wrong’, is to fall for a person that is already taken and that’s not something you can help. I myself find myself attracted to a married guy and it’s not easy. She taught that the guy she likes, liked her enough back to start something, only to be slapped in the face and have it all taken away. I hope that one day soon, she finds a man that will rock her world and will do anything for her.

Watching Amanda break up with Robby, I wonder if she is breaking up with him because she doesn’t see it working out, or if it’s because of everything that happened with Josh last year. If that’s the case, I totally get it. When you’ve been hurt to the core of your being, it’s something you take with you along the way. But at the same time, this is a real mirror moment for me, seeing Amanda saying goodbye to Robby, wondering if she’s too scared to take the next step, I wonder how much I’ve been doing that. How many chances have I passed on, by being too scared by my past?

So we have three couples remaining for their final date with a Fantasy suite afterwards. Lacey and Daniel, Taylor and Derek and Raven and Adam. While we know that Lacey and Daniel and Taylor and Derek stayed the night in the Fantasy suite, we don’t know if that’s the case with Raven and Adam, since Raven had some doubt. On to the studio!

Alexis, thank you for clarifying that you telling the infamous ‘scallops’ story was not ill filled, but was meant as a joke. With that clarified it shows how much editing can do to a story. So to the editing crew of all Bachelor shows, please stop editing the show as if there is bullying. By showing it like this on television, it promotes it, something we absolutely don’t want. I get that you need a way to get the best ratings, but this season was already so big on drama, it really didn’t need this. Let’s take a stand and stand up to bullying.

When Dean left Paradise, he said he loved Kristina and was in love with her, but sitting next to Chris in the studio he says he has really strong feelings for her. And then D-Lo says that Dean called her, one hour after Paradise ended, leaving Kristina to say “Enough is enough”. But thankfully Dean left the hot-seat with an apology to both women.

Amanda comes in the hot seat and answers a questions that has been on our minds for weeks now, ever since pictures came out of Robby and her walking the streets hand in hand. After Paradise, she and Robby decided to give it a go, but they’re not dating anymore. Saying that he’s not ready for a relationship is putting it nicely.

Lacey got some balls! Her telling Daniel off and putting him on his place was the best moment of her all season. This is women that is not to be messed with, this is a women rocks!

Raven and Adam are going steady, have been spending a lot of time together and love each other. While Raven gets to meet Adam’s family over the weekend, Adam gets to meet her parents, right then and there in the studio.

Taylor and Derek are still together and in love and their story keeps continuing as Derek proposes to Taylor and they are now engaged! Congratulations!

Best Quotes.

  • “I definitely want some privacy” Daniel, while to the camera while closing the door of the Fantasy suite.
  • “I can’t wait to get to know you in that way” Derek to Taylor while talking about sex.
  • “What happened in Colorado then?”
  • But Amanda won the season with “I can finally eat pizza again”

And also;

  • Happy to hear the positive effects of therapy on both Corinne and DeMario. There is still a stigma on therapy, but good to see what a positive effect it has on people and helping them get a handle on life.
  • Dean took a major step by saying that Kristina and D-Lo should not be fighting with each other and that it all falls on him. Taking ownership for you (stupid) actions is what makes you a man! Good for you!
  • Can somebody please just get their hands through Robby’s hair and mess it up!
  • Ending with a moment of Ben after Paradise, though I’m always for more moments of Ben, I dislike how he was portrayed this season, by only showing him talking about Zeus. We want to get to know every side of these people, not just the side that can be mocked.

That’s it, Bachelor in Paradise is closed for the season! Can’t wait for January, where we will see Arie in action as The Bachelor.

American Horror Story Season 7 – Review of Episode 02 ‘Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark’

Written by Jurgen Carper Caminada.

Clowns, clowns and more clowns. Ally is still in her delusional phase waking up next to one of the clown mask wearing home invaders and running downstairs to fetch Ivy to help her. But of course he is gone, you may think. At the same time their son is terrorised by Twisty and the 3-faced clown.

I personally loved this episode, it is not really action-packed but they are building up towards something bigger I guess. 2 main things happen;
Last week Ally and Ivy’s friends and neighbours were killed by killer clowns in their own home, Oz and Winter were watching the whole scene from the outside. Winter is trying to fill his mind with evil content and weird enough the kid is somehow attracted to it, he didn’t even blink when Ivy introduced him to the dark web online. New characters arrive as their new neighbours, Harrison (Billy Eichner) and Meadow Wilton (Leslie Grossman), a couple that claim to be not scared easily. And yes all the shows bee teasers start to make sense because Harrison is a beekeeper.
At Ally and Ivy’s restaurant there is a big argument happening between the second in command Roger with one of the staff members Pedro. Ally takes care of business and breaks them up, an important scene that paves the way to a great cliffhanger in the end. That same evening the restaurants alarm goes off and Ally is going to check it out finding Roger seemingly dead hanging on a meat hook.

Ally is getting more scared every minute and installs bars on every window and door at their house to feel more safe. Kai is showing up on her doorstep to convince her to vote for him to feel more safe, I am not gonna say too much about this scene because you just need to watch it. Here we see the reason why Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters are regulars on American Horror Story.
As Ally is tired and stressed Winter prepares her a nice hot bath (and why Winter still is the nanny? I have no clue. Anyone else would have fired her on the spot after the next door murders). This is one of the first erotic scenes where Winter tries to seduce Ally and the moment is brutally disturbed by the security alarm. All power gets cut off, Ivy is at the restaurant working and Winter runs off to her own house after next door neighbour Harrison is at the front door telling them to stay in the house.
It is dark, there is panic, Ally gets one of her breakdowns again and I must say you can really feel the danger in and around the house. Is it real, is it a dream? The surprise ending makes you want to see more!

Next week on American Horror Story;


American Horror Story Season 7 – Review of Episode 01 ‘Election Night’

Written by Jurgen Carper Caminada.

It is finally here, season 7 of one of the most visually creative and original series of all time.
This could become the most controversial season to date, start a story with the November 8 2016 election night and show how divided America really is? Wow. This truly is an American Horror Story.

The tone is set when we meet middle-class Ally (Sarah Paulson), a working mother in a same-sex marriage with Ivy (Alison Pill) that breaks down in front of the t.v. when Trump becomes their new President. On the other side of the city at that moment we meet Kai (Evan Peters), a second hand blue haired Joker who is beyond extatic and convinced that America is finally free and rubbing it in towards his pro-Clinton sister Winter (Billie Lourd).

Fear is portrayed as the biggest theme of this season. Especially Ally’s phobias are presented well in this 1st episode, (killer) clowns, tiny holes, enclosed spaces and blood. I can imagine if you have a fear of clowns watching this episode must be nerve wrecking. Sarah Paulson’s acting is spot on from the 1st scene and to me Alison Pill is completely miscast.

The absolute highlight for me is the copied scene from Freakshow with Twisty the Clown just after the opening credits. And it is only the beginning but Evan Peters and Billie Lourd’s characters seem totally fucked up and could become very interesting in this story.

Next week on American Horror Story;

Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 – Review of episode 05

Written by M.

Claws are out! And it all started when Christen walks on the beach with a date card. While on her speed-dates to get to know the guys a little, Matt walks up to her and pretty much said that he and Jasmine aren’t written in stone. So when they decide to go on this date together a thunderstorm is rising. While Matt talks to Jasmine about going on this date, she’s all calm. But when she talks about it to the others at the bar and no one reacts, an explosion follows and she goes to see Christen. But it’s not really a conversation though, since she just won’t listen to what Christen has to say. If you want to talk to somebody to hear their side and tell they how you feel, rule number one is to listen what they have to say. The only people that knew what was really said between Matt and Christen, are Matt and Christen, and maybe some people of the crew. But Jasmine heard some version of what they said from the other girls and wouldn’t believe what Christen said. Thank God for the tapes so we know what was said.

What I don’t get is how all the girls are going along in this ‘scallop-fingers’ bit that Jasmine started. I get that Jasmine was annoyed with her asking Matt, but why are the others going along with it? This is serious bullying, being like the mean girls in high school. Let’s be frank here, Christen did absolutely nothing wrong! She had the right to ask any of the guys out. And since Matt and Jasmine, as far as I know, hadn’t had THE talk yet, he was free to accept. Like I said, I get that this isn’t some happy news for Jasmine, but these is how Bachelor in Paradise works. If you don’t like that, don’t come here. And I’m just disappointed in the other women for making fun of Christen, without even trying to get to know her. You’re all adults, please just get to know her yourself before deciding that you do or don’t like another person.

Derek and Taylor are having a serious conversation about how life would be after Paradise and that she’s worried about how he can sometimes react. But as soon as she addresses this point, he just says “Fuck you”. Not cool dude, so not cool. And immediately go from steaming hot to ice cold. Taylor explains to him what talk like that means to her and even though he apologizes, she needs some time to think. And I agree. Sure he knows he reacted badly, but this kind of reaction to me came out of the blue. I get saying this in a fight, saying something like this when you snap. But they were just having a conversation, where did this reaction come from?

All and all we’re heading into an interesting rose ceremony. We have Dean with D-Lo and Kristina, Adam with Sarah and Raven and Matt with Christen and Jasmine. On top of that the relationship of Derek and Taylor is on the rocks and then there is Ben, who doesn’t have any love connection. But before the ceremony even starts, Matt bows out, leaving Jasmine and Christen in tears and desperate for a rose. And of course they point they’re at the same guy; Jack. And just before the ceremony starts and the episode ends, Christ welcomes a new arrival, to fill the spot that Matt left. And in comes Daniel! And it seriously turned Lacey’s frown upside down. But will he safe her?

Best Quotes.

  • “Did he taste like Jas?”
  • “You’re putting my brain in a blender”

And also;

  • I love Alexis, but I really don’t like her laughing so hard about how Christen reacted to Jasmine’s blowout.
  • Wells reenacting Alexis reenacting Christen eating scallops is funny for dissing Alexis for doing that. But I didn’t like him playing with the puppet as Christen, for that’s when he was making fun of her as a person. That is just never funny, especially since he doesn’t know her.
  • Can the producers give the cast a lecture about the effects of bullying? You’d think they already know about that, but I’m shocked about how they’re acting this week.
  • Also never funny; puppets! If you want to play with dolls, grab a Barbie.
  • Chris said that Christen was the first new arrival this week, but she was the last. First came Sarah, then Dominique and last came Christen.
  • Why are people going to Paradise if they don’t think they will like anybody there? Isn’t that the point of the entire show? It’s not about you partying with your friends, it’s about the possibility to find love.

Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 – Review of episode 03

Written by M.

Finally! There has been a rose ceremony. It has taken us three episodes to get there, but it happened. But before the rose ceremony a new man walked onto the beach of Paradise and my guesses were wrong, it wasn’t Daniel. It was Adam and thankfully he left his puppet at home, that thing really creeped me out.

And to make things even more comfortable, he took Raven out on a date. So I think it’s safe to say that Raven is the most desired woman of Paradise, with Ben, Robby and Adam vowing for her love and attention. The two days leading up to the rose ceremony, most of the men were more interested in getting the bromance going that in the romance. Somehow they all forgot as to why they are here, which is basically to find love, I don’t think the setup was to find love with your bro’s. But ultimately they figured out that in order to stay in Paradise, they need to get a rose and to get a rose, you need to give the women some attention. So the cocktail party was pretty much one desperate attempt from the men to any woman. Like seriously, Alex finally figured out that Amanda really isn’t interested in him and won’t be giving him her rose. Figured out as in, she literally told him an hour before the rose ceremony. So Alex talked to pretty much any woman to make sure they knew how much he appreciates ‘her’ and how much he opened up to ‘her’ because of that. Too much, too desperate, too late. Tip for future men; if you’re not sure about getting a rose, don’t jump on all the women at once. Pick one, try have an actual conversation with her and connect. If you try this last minute on all of the women, they won’t feel appreciated and chances are, you won’t get a rose from any of them.

Robby had that figured out. With Adam, Ben and himself going after Raven, he figured his chances were very slim. So what did he do? He talked to Amanda, the ex-fiancé of Josh, a close friend of him. A friendship that he feels very strongly about. It’s a big risk, whether Amanda would be interested or not, he could lose his friendship with Josh over this. If a friend of mine would go after an ex of mine, one that I felt strongly about, I’m sorry but the friendship would be over. You know ‘Bro’s before Ho’s’ and ‘Sisters before Misters’. But he addressed the elephant in the room and it worked out. Though he did not get that kiss he wanted, which I wouldn’t give him either based on the conversation we saw, he did get her rose.

So, who were left standing at the end of the night? Taylor and Derek, well duh. Jasmine and Matt, who had a good talk at the cocktail party making Jasmine all happy again. Raven and Adam, who shared a kiss at the cocktail party, and making Ben’s future at Paradise unsure. Alexis and Jack, I haven’t really seen much about their relationship, so this one threw me a little. I hoped for a spark between Alexis and Vinny. Lacey and Diggy, who also shared a kiss at the party. See Alex, Diggy also knows how to do this. Curveball of the evening came from Danielle, who gave her rose to Ben. She said that he is an awesome human and would love to see him find someone. Kristina gave her rose to Dean and Amanda to Robby. This means, Paradise is over for Alex, Vinny, Iggy and Nick. Cheer up guys! You still were in 3 episodes, which is a record for being send home at your first rose ceremony.

Now the tables will have turned, this week the men have all the power and the women have to fear going home. The first new arrival of the week makes the knees weak of all the men, Danielle L., also known as D-Lo. Even Derek jokes that he would accept a date with her. But in the end, she chooses Dean, to the dismay of Ben and Kristina. Ben, because he doesn’t really have anyone now that Raven chose Adam, and Kristina, well because of all the obvious reasons.

Their date goes great and afterwards he goes to talk to Kristina, after which Kristina is all happy again. When it gets dark, they all sit around a campfire on the beach and Dean and Kristina are like they were at the start. Sitting close to each other, being giddy. This is when Dean makes the brilliant decision to walk away, to come back with cake, making an announcement. Apparently it’s D-Lo’s half birthday, so he got her half a cake. And you can just feel the uncomfortableness, everybody looks around to see if this is really happening, everybody that is, except for Dean and D-Lo. I praise Kristina for how see handled herself, my tears would flow right then and there. She could keep her cool until Dean and D-Lo walked to the bar and then went to her room, where she was comforted by Alexis. Dean please, for everything that is good in the world, please make up your mind. Don’t string this woman on any longer if you don’t want to be with her.

Best Quotes.

  • Alexis: “When D walked down the steps, I swear to God, I looked at all the guys and they were just like ‘DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMNNNN!’”.
  • Diggy: “You did what any guy would do, say yes to the dress”.

And also;

  • I’m sad to see Vinny go, I would have loved to see more of the laugh train that is Alexis and Vinny.
  • How is it that Dean doesn’t see how upset Kristina is for him going on the date with D-Lo? It’s clear to everybody around them.
  • The end credits!! This is why we love Alexis.
  • I wonder how it is possible that Josh was eating pizza all the time last year, if it takes two hours to make one.

Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 – Review of episode 02

Written by M.

The Bachelor wedding of the year, Evan and Carly.
I’m not going to spend too much of our time on this, just this; Carly looked spectacular. It was intimate and loving with a hint of the weirdness we love about Evan and Carly, it was their perfect wedding.

It’s time to go back to Paradise, after the shutdown. For starters, I love that they talk about how they feel about what happened and how production of any of the Bachelor shows is going. And let’s not forget about the race issue, do we automatically blame DeMario because of the color of his skin. I for one did not and I despise the fact that some people do. I don’t care is interracial or not, I care about the love between them. Love is love and love doesn’t care about the color of your skin, your gender, the number on your bank account or on your scale. Love is love and it’s the most powerful thing in the world.

Another important issue they addressed was consent, which needed to be talked about after all the media rumors. I think Taylor started this great and Ben added on this perfectly. Don’t go for the suggested consent, given by body language and flirts, always and I cannot stress this enough, always go for the verbal consent. Not just at the start, but with each step you take. Remember that if you feel unconvertable at any point, it’s never too late to say no. This doesn’t just go for whatever happens on Bachelor Nation, but for everyone. No matter where you’re from or how old you are, consent may never be assumed. My heart pours for Raven and for any other men and women out in the world who has been through any kind of (sexual) assault. No matter how hard it may seem to believe, please always keep in mind that this is not your fault and that you’re not alone in this, how bittersweet that may be.

But now it’s time to leave all of the things that happened in the past and continue their journey to find love. Are the relationships that started to form, still standing? We had Danielle and Jack, Kristina and Dean, Taylor and Derek, Jasmine and Matt, Amanda and Alex, Raven with Ben and Robby. Lacey was around for one day, but spend a lot of time with Iggy. Where do they stand now?

Jack is positive about Danielle, saying that they were hitting it off pretty well. Danielle however talks about how she had to talk herself into liking Jack and that he sounds perfect, on paper. I’m not feeling any love just yet.
Robby has the hots for Raven and feels great about their date. But Ben is also attracted to Raven, but takes it on day at the time. Raven on the other hand, ghosted both of them during the time off, saying that she needed a break from the constant two on one date.
Alex felt really secure about getting Amanda’s rose, which sounds really dirty actually, and want to see if they can built from that. For Amanda, the time off has changed her point of view on him and doesn’t want to him a rose anymore.
Matt finds Jasmine easy to talk to which is why they hit it off. After her date with Matt, Jasmin’s vagina was dancing and she’s wondering if they can back to that point.
Dean travelled with Kristina to Kentucky for a week and they road tripped to Chicago for a weekend, which was all great. And yet he wants her to be open to other dates, which she doesn’t like, but she is very optimistic about him.
Derek and Taylor are going strong! They have been talking more and more and they’re going to give this a shot.

But not long after everybody is back at the beach, Matt begins to doubt about being with Jasmine, he wants to stay open to others, where she has all her focus on Matt. Alex has trouble figuring out that he has been friend-zoned, which everybody could see, except for Alex. Thankfully Raven and Jack are there to make things clear. Lacey feels alone and is totally envious about Derek getting a date card. I get that she wanted a date card, to try get more of a connection with basically any of the guys. But just because Taylor and Derek are couple doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a nice date.

At night friction comes out to play. First with Kristina and Dean, who have trouble communicating and Kristina ends up crying at the bar, being comforted by Wells and Nick. And they friction goes to play with Matt and Jasmine. Matt needs a little time to breathe while Jasmine only wants to be with him. So when he goes off sleep alone, Jasmine gets frustrated.
And just as someone is about to come down the steps, the episode ends. Who wants to bet it’s Daniel?

Best Quotes.

  • Amanda about Alex; “I already have two kids, I don’t need another little person running around asking for attention”.
  • Raven to Alex, when he asks her advice about Amanda “Yeah, I think you should move on from Amanda”.
  • On which Jack follows “I wouldn’t count on it at all”.
  • And basically the entire reenactment of Amanda and Alex by Alexis and Vinny.

And also;

  • I miss Chad, not the parts of him getting violent, but he was interesting. I always felt there was more to him.
  • I know a lot of the couples that formed on any of the Bachelor shows, never made the walk down the aisle. But has there ever been a divorce for those who did make it down that aisle?
  • Love how Carly called Evan her lobster.
  • Is it me or do Alex and Robby have the same voice? They sound exactly the same.
  • Look at Taylor and Derek holding hands when they’re all sitting together talking to Chris.
  • I think Alexis and Vinny would be the funniest power couple ever. I hope they get together.
  • Lacey is totally pining for Daniel.

What’s coming this season?

Can’t wait for next Monday!

Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 – Review of episode 01

Written by M.

It happened, Bachelor in Paradise has started. A summer that started gloomy is now shining bright. And this first episode was all about what happened before production was stopped. And I don’t mean whatever happened between Corinne and DeMario, all we saw was them going into the pool together. What I mean is what happened between everybody, were sparks flying, did we have hookups at the first night. Well let me fill you in.

So who are in Paradise? In order of them arriving at the beach and who’s heart they were fighting for on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Raven (Nick), Dean (Rachel), Kristina (Nick), Danielle (Nick), Ben (Kaitlyn), Iggy (Rachel), Jasmine (Nick), Jack (Rachel), Alexis (Nick), DeMario (Rachel), Derek (JoJo), Alex (JoJo), Corinne (Nick), Lacey (Nick), Vinny (JoJo and BiP 3), Diggy (Rachel), Matt (Rachel), Nick (JoJo), Amanda (Ben and BiP 3) and Taylor (Nick).
So we start off with 9 women and 11 men, giving the women all the power. Which guys will be send home in the first week? More on that later.

So what do we know at this moment? Ben has his eyes on Raven, while Raven is seriously crushing on Dean and has trouble keeping her eyes of him. Danielle can’t stop talking about the hotness of Dean, like seriously, find a new topic to talk about. Jack is wondering if Alexis is in Paradise to find love or to party with her friends. Raven has her mind set up and spilled her guts about DeMario before he even stepped onto the beach. Iggy thinks he and Corinne will hit it off because they’re both the life of the party. So serious question, how and when was Iggy the life of the party? Did I miss this, cause I have no memory of this.

The first kiss of the season goes to Nick and Jasmine, but only because Lacey dared them. But she made up for that kiss later at night when she was making out with Matt, Jasmine that is, not Lacey. The first date card went to Kristina, who took Dean out for a nice dinner and sparks were flying. They were both giddy and obviously smitten with each other.
First one to get drunk is Nick, which is a serious turn off for Jasmine.

On a sad note, Lacey got a call from her family after just one night, informing her that her grandfather, who she was really with, passed away. So she’s going back home as she should. And as interested as Iggy seemed in her, he couldn’t remember it was her grandfather, but told the others it was her grandma that died. On another sad note, Jorge is also leaving Paradise to pursue his dreams. Only this one is followed by a much happier note, because Wells will be the new bartender of Paradise!

In the morning the first new guest arrives and it’s Robby, who apparently packs like a woman, he brought a new bathing suit for every single day! Though that’s not what the women in Paradise are talking about, they just keep talking about his hair. Well at least it’s a change of subject from the hotness of Dean. This brings the score to 8 women and 12 men, this does not look good for our men. Of course Robby came in with a date card and he goes jet skiing with Raven. But after they get back, they both have a different opinion on the success of the date, Robby is smitten and Raven is really not.
Third date card, “Matt, pick your queen” and he and Jasmine leave the beach. And their date takes them to a drag bar, where Jasmine volunteered him to be a drag queen. Is it weird that when he was turned into a drag queen, he reminded me of Jared?

Rose ceremony, who ends up with who and who goes home? But it never comes to that. Before the roses are handed out, Corinne and DeMario get pulled aside, camera’s go out and production is stopped. But what would the rose ceremony have looked like? Raven would have given her rose to Ben, Kristina to Dean, Amanda to Alex, Danielle would keep Jack around. Jasmine likes Matt, Taylor hit it off with Derek and Corinne let Nicks stay another round. So the wildcard comes from Alexis, putting Iggy, DeMario, Vinny, Diggy, Nick and Robby on the chopping block.

Best Quotes.
This first episode already had three great quotes. Number three was from Chris, after Amanda hands him the engagement ring she got last year from Josh and she walks into Paradise, he smells the rings and says “It smells like pizza”. Second best came from Raven. While on her date with Robby she kissed him, but at the party before the rose ceremony she kisses Ben “That was better than Robby”. But the absolute best went to Chris, while talking to Corinne right before she stepped onto the beach; “Phenomenal place to take naps”. Can’t wait what other quotes will be coming our way this season.

And also;

  • Ben talks a lot about Zeus and any other dog he had in his life, don’t know if Raven is into it though. I truly hope this won’t be thing throughout the show though, like with Josh and his pizza.
  • Why do people this Jack is a serial killer?
  • How is it that people don’t remember Ben, but do remember Derek, I seriously forgotten all about him.
  • OK girls, we get it, Dean is hot, but does that mean that everything that you women say is “Dean is hot”. Look around, there are hot men all around. I myself wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes of Ben.
  • I think it’s like bloody hot out there, it’s only been two days and you can see body’s turning sunburned red.
  • Did Taylor bring up the ‘intelligence level’ again? Is that smart?
  • Is it too obvious that I’m smitten with Ben? To be honest, I’ve been this way since he stepped out of the limo on Kaitlyn’s season.

Grey’s Anatomy Season 13 – Review of episode 21 ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’

Written by M.

It finally happened! Maggie knows that Meredith and Nathan have been doing the nasty. But funnily enough, Meredith didn’t want to make Nathan the bad guy because… SHE DIDN’T WANT TO LIE! Feel free to laugh, I sure did. But, this being Grey’s Anatomy and all, Maggie didn’t find out by Meredith sitting her down and telling her the truth. No, she found out through a press conference, where Nathan touched Meredith’ shoulder just a little too long. A room full of journalist and cameramen and you caress her shoulder, do you want them to report on your hero actions on the plane or about your love affair?

Maggie had a lot of sass though and I liked it. Asking Meredith if they joined the Mile High Club is priceless. But of course she became Maggie again and started acting childless. Are you mad, fine be mad, you deserve to be mad, she lied to you for months, but never act on it on the workplace.
And how is it that Meredith was all she had left? What about Amelia, Richard and Jackson. It’s been a tough year sure, with your mother dying, but there is more in your life than your mother and Meredith.
I agree with Maggie that Meredith lying to her was the wrong thing to do, but I also agree with Meredith. She was trying to do the right thing by not getting together with Nathan for all those months, because of Maggie deciding that she liked Nathan.

And then there was Veronica Kays, who Alex met earlier this season at the courthouse, the pregnant woman with cancer. She was determined to bring a healthy baby into the world, even if it was the last thing she would do and it was. As dying patients go, I found this one sad. The writers have always had a knack for creating patients with an instant liking factor. However Brigid Brannagh, brought this alive in a way we don’t see too often as she always does, whichever character she plays. I really wanted Veronica to make it and was sad when she chose not to keep fighting. She brought her baby safely into the world, her deed was done.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.
That’s the last thing I would ever want.
So no matter how mad you are,
How much you want to shut me out, know this.
You are my sister, whether you like it or not.
And I’m not going anywhere.”

And also;

  • I am so sick of Bailey being scared of Catherine. Grow a pair woman! Doesn’t mean you, as her boss, should be telling her what to do in her love life…
  • But the way that Catherine talks to Bailey, her boss, is not OK. If I would talk like that to my boss, even being a rock star at my job, I might have a job to come back to the next day.
  • How is it that Bailey that is shocked when she is compared with Catherine. The only difference between them is that Catherine acts like the boss where she isn’t, and Bailey doesn’t act like she is the boss, where she is.
  • A lady filled with worms, like HUGE worms, which April got in her hair, no joke!

  • Amelia crying in Owen’s arms, can these two just get back together and put all the shit behind them.
  • How cute was Alex with Alice in his arms. Does anyone else wonder if she will start to call Alex daddy?

Next time on Grey’s Anatomy;